To practice restraint is to be obliged while profusely declining temptations. Thus it is a simple reflection of one needing to be surrounded by, without limiting to, material indulgence among other things.
I am, for one, the victim of said indulgence. Granted that I am but a young adult (finally), an obvious plight of being one would be to accept responsibility and live the paved journey already formulated and structured by those before me. I say this with passion, not condescension when I make my decisions; to consider the neglect of happiness over the contrary fact that it is for the 'greater good'.
Where is happiness in 'greater good'?
Well, a relative fact for those of ignorance, there is no happiness in 'greater good'. When that card is being played, it is essentially a forceful decision, be it a subtle or not, external force are often the main contribution. External forces? Oh wait, thats my conscience talking. He said it is for the greater good that I should resist playing a game or two before examinations.
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
I horribly regret ever partaking in decision making, solely due to the fact that I have the impulsive nature of a down syndrome, albeit less emotional. I'm gonna be honest with myself here, since I guess no one reads my relentless whining anyway. I am self-centered and I am take no responsibility. I do not handle pressure well. Every-fucking-time I'm faced with a difficult situation, I find a way to escape, only to go in a circle and face it anyway. Then I deal with it as horribly as that situation has deteriorate to. Finally, whatever the outcome, I use the excuse that I would've done well either way; an inexhaustible excuse which grants me either an idiot pass or a genius praise.
For the record, I often play my games before examinations. I live with the virtue of thoroughly enjoying oneself to get it out of one's system before turmoil.
It all boils down to my usual rant of "not being able to do my best" and of course my responsibilities as a young adult in decision making. While I may have done so for the 'greater good', as usual, it has been fashioned to seem so. I have no desire to do anything close to the greater good, all I wanna do is feel good.
I want happiness. If I had the wealth of generations, it would be a humbly subtle portrayal of wealth.
I will die of happiness if my future kid's sole ambition is to attain happiness. I would know I raised that kid right.
Well time to do my overdue assignment to evade more failure.
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