Mr. Donmichael

A City in Florida

2011-09-27T16:01:00.002+08:00

Hello non-existent readers, it has been some months since I have written anything.

Over the course of the year, I have become a raider. That is right, I have assimilated myself with the sub-culture of online role playing nerds. I have to say, we take our virtual world very seriously.

Sub-updates:

New phone (under utilized)

New mechanical keyboard (Love)

A few cats went missing and another one fell from the balcony (alive).

Gfx dying on me.

Mediocre results from uni, (like a disctinction and mostly credits) - I have myself to blame, I often hand up my assignments late without a reason. Because I really don't have a legitimate reason and I prefer not to lie.

New speakers (So awesome)

On another note, my financial standing stay unchanged.

Brain juice not flowing, bye.

Deadmau5 - Cthulhu Sleeps

2011-05-04T07:14:00.002+08:00

Greatness is given to those who are proactive with opportunities, yet for those who are slow to grasp the golden window, they are cast aside and left to be stagnant.

It comes to those who seek, rather than those who await patiently.

Could it be then, patience is not a virtue? Without patience, you could be a go-getter. With it, you are merely a man in shadows, waiting for a time to shine, an opportunity to dance on your lap screaming your name. Slutting its way to your endless day dreams, only for you to realize you could've gotten it sooner.

It will never come. Patience will never let you win, only ease the failure to the eventual win.

You have to fail, to win.

Fail. To win.

It is bleak, it is bleak.

So what do I do?

..a barrel roll.

Schubert - Piano Sonata in A minor D845 - Andante, poco mosso

2011-04-22T02:30:00.002+08:00

Hmm, assimilation with foreign culture. Empowerment or the opposite?

Assignments reign on my life like a horse on steroids, running around the track with great might to please the masters of material gains. It does not concern me, but it does concern my well being. How else would a great horse eat the best of hay, without the effort of running around in an illogical and demeaning race, for the sake of winning our masters the money they do not deserve.

Then again, I shouldn't say my assignments are THAT difficult. However there is a certain level of difficulty that I have come to realize which compares itself to other academic disciple; that social science as opposed to actual science, is hardly tangible. What more when it deals with literature.

To grasp theories in literary criticism, be it the concept of authorship to postcolonial and diasporic literature, there is a sense of indulgence within these ideals. For one, I found it confounding that certain theories from seemingly unrelated fields superimposes itself onto creative works of art. Yes, it does enriches the value and appreciation for such works, but they are hardly necessary since the wider audience are unable to ready themselves for the variable meaning and observation given by these literary theories.

They appear out of fucking thin air, I swear. One moment we question the concept of linguistics itself (why is a chair, called a chair?) and the next we venture in the unintended meaning of an author through the representation of his words in a given work. Similarly in postcolonial literary studies, one moment we are looking at imperial influences on a community and its affects on the nature of history and ideology, next we question the notion of assimilating cultures as a hybrid is an empowerment or not.

Too much to handle, I say. What more my Authorship and Writing class has a 10% failure rate every year. That should be a signal of either the level of difficulty, or the marker is just a hardass. Yes, I avoided the idea that students are just morons, because while there ARE a number of idiots in any given class, it should not represent a high rate of 10%, Way too much. For every 10 students, 1 would fail. Not good.

Right now if anyone is wondering (I mean who even comes here anymore?), I'm working on an analysis of a Malaysian writer about the immigrants from India in Malaysia pre-independence. I shall not reveal the name of the novel in fear of web searches pointing clueless students like me to this site where I do not cover my ass and rant on about how annoyed I am.

Basically the novel covers a range of issues regarding cultural identity, between the assimilation of foreign culture with ancestral roots pertaining to religious tradition and the struggle between these identities in a Malaysian landscape with colonial, post-colonial and neo-colonial influences.

A fucking mouthful, and its only the surface.

I will never be an academic scholar (as in profession), because they are unnecessarily long winded and they drag their points on and on and on and on, with language so obscure that I have to read a single sentence at snail's pace, just to get wind of what the author is trying to say.

Heres an excerpt to illustrate my point:

"Contemporary culture is hybrid, just like colonial culture. The idea of hybridity usefully characterizes the mechanisms of the colonial psychic economy. In the same way as the structures of colonial identity can also be found in contemporary contexts, the structure of hybridity is also found in contemporary cultures." (Huddart 2006:124)

Seems kinda long for a single point right?

FML

Franz Schubert - Piano Sonata in C minor D958 - Adagio

2011-01-14T02:06:00.004+08:00

A couple of days ago I decided to listen to classical music exclusively.

As of late, I have been calm.

Deep within though, lay a labyrinth of emotions. Piano sonatas ringing in my ear, echoing into the deepest depths of my heart. Calamity; then silence. Softly pawing keys, then; an explosion. Rain of notes.

Seriously though, of all the years I thought I had somewhat of a broad sense of musicality thanks to my superiorly hip friends. Nothing has prepared me for what I would come to find in classical music. Sure enough my exposure to the genre has been seemingly gradual, but this..

This is the epitome of music.

Back when I was a young 'un I had an appreciation for thumping trance or as we call it today, "uplifting trance". The only aspect that I had a liking in this sub-genre of dance music is the arrangement. The introduction, mood, then the build up. Followed by the almighty climax. I thought it was brilliant! The digital strings, ripped off samples, mashup of another's ouerve, placed together as and how the DJ saw fit. Thumping bass line; lively and fun. Pulsing beat; intoxicating. It was energetic enough. I was content.

Then I found post-rock. Yet another sub-genre of rock, yet subtlety ignore by the masses due to its unappealing nature that ignores lyricism in both instrument and vocal, and not to mention generally the opposite of anything uplifting. If I may be able to do so, post-rock to me is like a mountain amidst a stormy sea. During those years of heavy post-rock listening, my life had been taking an aggressive pace with growing up, then pushed into depths of turmoil and finally being able to find solace in passion. Post-rock gave me a clear head to decide who I wanted to be, what I desired to become. Consistent in theme and feeling. For long minutes trapped within the same chord, while the melody screeches its way around, finding a way out. I was content.

Of course in between all of them I had my leg in most genres, stretching to the sub-genres of metal. While I was and still completely affectionate towards acoustic music and big band jazz, there was something that had me craving. When I was not in the mood for melancholy and love, the voice of Ella Fitzgerald and Nat King Cole did not appease me. When I was not in the mood for simplicity of acoustics, no matter how much I loved the sound of an instrument singing alone, Tommy Emmanuel and Kotaro Oshio did not satiate me. The golden years of rock, The Beatles, The Who, Jimmy Hendrix; all beautiful music in their domain, but none conquered my heart. Indie, the most relevant of my time, Taking Back Sunday, Sufjan Stevens, Cat Power, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs; once again, spectacular music but there was still a void. There was something within all of them I had been seeking.

I had a longing for something that would move every single molecule within me, despite the mood.

Then came classical music. I have yet to explore it to my content, but as for now, I am left breathless in its complexity. The moment a symphony starts, to the end of an hour long piece. It has been nothing more than a roller-coaster. Every single element of music I have discovered and indulged myself are all represented so elegantly here. Every single subtle detail was not left out. Waves of sounds, intricately layered on top of each other to create a sense of harmony I never would have thought possible with that many instruments. So much sophistication and beauty that I can't even fathom to exist. All this when my feet are still in the shallow seas. I have yet to educate myself on the composers of these magnificent pieces. The back story and cultural situation that took place during composition. These are the prodigies of their time. Their timeless exploits retold in every sheet of music. Their life began and ended in music. Just like everything else in my life, I am fatally attracted to the passion that spawned such level of difficult music.

The depth of sophistication of classical music, as of jazz, is tied with the education one would need to partake in order to master said pieces. While it is definitely not be impossible to appreciate it without a formal education, I will relinquish the fact that I will do so with an informal one. It will be an arduous journey, to say the least, but the joy of discovering is keeping in utter desire.

I guess it takes some sort of maturity to realize the beauty of 18th-19th century music. Romanticist melodies and the basis of what we have come to call music today. Etched and very much alive while retaining it's relevance.

Indeed, it is beautiful.

"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy." - Ludwig van Beethoven

tl;dr classical music > all music

Franz Schubert - Piano Sonata in A minor D845

2011-01-13T02:51:00.001+08:00

When there is life, there is also death.

2010-11-26T09:21:00.000+08:00

afjggjs;lkfkl contemporary literature is a go.

We Are Scientists - The Great Escape (Acoustic)

2010-09-16T06:09:00.001+08:00

Working from home is not a good idea.

I need to fix my sleeping time once again because I'm showing signs of insomnia yet again.

Kings of Leon - Closer

2010-09-06T03:53:00.001+08:00

I'll be honest with you, I really want to play Final Fantasy XIV.

Patience is my virtue, I shall endure a couple of days more before I succumb to the inevitable.

2010-09-03T03:45:00.002+08:00

Do you trust your friends?

Something Something

2010-09-02T06:01:00.003+08:00

In a nutshell, the philosophy of pragmatism refers to ideas or hypothesis that are proven valid to the point that that idea or hypothesis becomes "accepted" into the sense of practicality. Of course I may not be entirely right due to the limited study I have on the area of pragmatism but if my brief deduction is indeed accurate then it is safe to assume that often enough it is pragmatism that has endowed us with a setlist of acceptable behavior.

If it is not correct, please reject my notion.

/rant

Cats are asleep while I work. They make me want to sleep. Damn you cats.

Ah the bane of the my prowls. I have and I do not have the luxury of time. The seconds creep at a hellish pace but at the same time, flows like a rapid river. Death is imminent yet we are not reminded because we are too busy living. To live is to die, to die is to well, move along fellas.

It seems almost foolish that 'living' is to chase. Chase, chase, chase. Chase a figurative number of wealth that would one day be the legacy of you 'living' before death. The wealth that exerts power over those inferior, while filling an endless void of replaceable desires. It is sad to remember that we chase a paper trail from the day we enter the modern school of thought. Education is a bane to our society solely because education aims to educate. To educate is to create new drones. All they care are paperpaperpaper incentives and pleasing whoever has more paper.

To inspire is to look elsewhere. To excel is to derive from sources. To comprehend is to Google it.

Meh who am I to question? I am afterall, another drone with ridiculous desires.

ortoPilot - Mardy Bum (Artic Monkeys Cover)

2010-06-05T23:50:00.002+08:00

I WANT TO DEVOUR BOOKS AND WRITE LIKE A PRO. WHERE DO I GO TO ACHIEVE THIS?

JayMay - Gray or Blue

2010-05-23T05:29:00.004+08:00

Oh ye of little faith, what brings thee?

To practice restraint is to be obliged while profusely declining temptations. Thus it is a simple reflection of one needing to be surrounded by, without limiting to, material indulgence among other things.

I am, for one, the victim of said indulgence. Granted that I am but a young adult (finally), an obvious plight of being one would be to accept responsibility and live the paved journey already formulated and structured by those before me. I say this with passion, not condescension when I make my decisions; to consider the neglect of happiness over the contrary fact that it is for the 'greater good'.

Where is happiness in 'greater good'?

Well, a relative fact for those of ignorance, there is no happiness in 'greater good'. When that card is being played, it is essentially a forceful decision, be it a subtle or not, external force are often the main contribution. External forces? Oh wait, thats my conscience talking. He said it is for the greater good that I should resist playing a game or two before examinations.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

I horribly regret ever partaking in decision making, solely due to the fact that I have the impulsive nature of a down syndrome, albeit less emotional. I'm gonna be honest with myself here, since I guess no one reads my relentless whining anyway. I am self-centered and I am take no responsibility. I do not handle pressure well. Every-fucking-time I'm faced with a difficult situation, I find a way to escape, only to go in a circle and face it anyway. Then I deal with it as horribly as that situation has deteriorate to. Finally, whatever the outcome, I use the excuse that I would've done well either way; an inexhaustible excuse which grants me either an idiot pass or a genius praise.

For the record, I often play my games before examinations. I live with the virtue of thoroughly enjoying oneself to get it out of one's system before turmoil.

It all boils down to my usual rant of "not being able to do my best" and of course my responsibilities as a young adult in decision making. While I may have done so for the 'greater good', as usual, it has been fashioned to seem so. I have no desire to do anything close to the greater good, all I wanna do is feel good.

I want happiness. If I had the wealth of generations, it would be a humbly subtle portrayal of wealth.

I will die of happiness if my future kid's sole ambition is to attain happiness. I would know I raised that kid right.

Well time to do my overdue assignment to evade more failure.

2010-03-31T03:54:00.002+08:00

Oh harbinger of sorrow I weep empty tears to thee, for yonder are my dreams, tossed aside for materials I wish not to brag upon death.

Hey, I write when I'm in my boxers. Creature of habit staying true. Truthfully, I can't stand bloggers anymore. Its either they have no sense of humor and/or they try too damn hard to follow formulas that "works". For all intellectual purposes, pro-bloggers are thinning to the rampant social drones of monetary diggers. Blog for hits = money? Sure I'll slut myself.

I'll post pictures of myself in different places with different people but wearing the same goddamn smile in a slightly bent angle in every single picture.

I'll conceive interactive questions for viewers (eg. do I look good with/without this bra?).

I'll write an advertorial with the use of media presses with near zero personal commentary. Oh wait, heres a picture of myself using the product. Endorse me please?

I'll try to use big words but I don't really know the meaning.

I'll play by emotional cliches an write in rhyme and trickery that is so vague, an eight year old would feel attached.

I'll post up lyrics of a song that is being overplayed and feel like no one gets what you're trying to say.

I'll wear skimpy dresses to clubs to entice viewers and devoid the meaningless texts in between.

..and then I think I'm a good at PR.

Please, get out of the formula you cultural degenerates. I'm no better than you, but damn son atleast I'm trying to be myself here.

I like blogs with jokes.

ps, if someone comments about how they feel insulted and offended, I don't give a damn.

2010-03-18T17:53:00.002+08:00

Imagine a man sitting on a chair in a bright room of white. Next to this man lay a bookshelf filled with books of ambiguity, soulful brevity, medieval morality, political complexities and dragons. To the other side of that man, sits a beauty. Of Elixir strings, rosewood and mahogany. The toast of an acoustic guitar connoisseur, to which every pluck and strum resonates poetry to his heart. Behind him is a shelf, of plastic boxes with sometimes vague titles but abundant with imagery. For he is also a man who appreciates the language of films, he sees the world in the interpretations as painted in movies. Running around that man in the chair, are reflections of God's creation. Cats and dogs, wild life and nature. Unconditional love and belonging, simplicity and beauty. He feels strong attachment to God's creatures.

Imagine that man smiling. Imperfect teeth, round cheeks and small beady eyes. This is me, and my passion.

This is a draft for my resume. -_-"

Goldfrapp - Eat Yourself

2010-02-20T19:50:00.001+08:00

The cats are meowing.

Depressing music for the cat loving soul. Innocence retained. Thank goodness.

Ella Fitzgerald - Cheek to Cheek

2010-01-17T03:33:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday in advance, Mom. I miss you :)

Damien Rice - Cheers Darlin'

2009-12-01T20:03:00.004+08:00

I am a broken gramophone. I play the tunes forgone and forgotten. I remember.

Yes I truly do.

The black mane caresses my shoulders, a subtle indication of a either a prolonged natural order to face a pair of scissors or a sizable difference in stature. Not much of a careless mistaken if one were to misplace my face with another. Not that I mind anyway.

Secondarily, I marked the hundredth hour atop a brightly lit screen. Silently celebrating my diminishing manliness to the hunters of escapism. The alluring travels through a fictional world and epic item gathering seems too much of a temptation to my frail mind. I gather that, like most boys, we all have our passion and weaknesses. While those of velvet underground run around protesting and criticizing, we with our tool that hangs, desire a cave of solitude. It is rare to be invited, but company is often welcomed.

There are just so many off beat formalities that we are enticed to. Then again, our prowess of staying human paints itself to follow these social traits. How shall thee be human if thee does not act like one?

Those that are faced with difficulty are often bled to humiliate by drones the rules created. Evil are those who recognize the black and white, while we live free in the gray. If Satan was real, he wouldn't be evil. He would be human. He would be living in the gray like us, he would be smoking evil cigarettes, doing 'evil' things like tempting people to adultery, robbing people of their happiness, blasphemy, and whatever nonsense that we in the gray area are already doing.

No, evil are those who get away with it.

The politicians.
The animal poachers.
The money making scoundrels who feed off nature's lush greenery, thus endangering every generation to come.
The nurse at your hospital bed who refuses to let you go to the toilet.
The drug dealers who rips you off.

You get my point.

Satan wouldn't be evil because we all says he is so. He is never the source of the problem. His mind games are an illusion, because if you were to blame your misdeeds on yourself, there wouldn't be a need to create a seemingly omnipresent and absolute symbol to take the blame.

Oddly enough, a poster in the vet's hospital I frequent reflects on my rant.
To loosely paraphrase:

"All animals are the true citizens of God's Great Kingdom.
Humans are mere apprentices of the Devil."

We are the balance but we choose to pick a side.

2009-10-08T02:50:00.002+08:00

Cursed are thou for thine winter past due. Bestowed thy silverware on shattering glasses.

Leave now, with thy tongue in between thine bossoms. Harbour not, the heart of black; darkness.

Mono - Silent Flight, Sleeping Dawn

2009-09-30T05:02:00.002+08:00

I am a walking paradox. Given to circumstances, I don't give a fuck about what everyone thinks, but deep down inside I want to hear the words that ties in to my existence. As if it fucking matters. Reality paints a bleak picture to me, the democratic idiocy. Majority wins. Bandwagon fucks. I feel so lonely.

I march a silent protest to everything I've come to know, without even knowing it. If I shut the doors, who, besides I, could open them? I preach wisdom of humanity and all its political correctness, but why is there a void that swallows my words and spits me out into ignorance, disbelief and mistrust? Why do I twist and turn, in hopes of finding my Legend. The biological make up of personalities, rather than the grown characteristics of seeds sown by cultural references. Is there a point to joining the bandwagon? Would I wear pants if everyone wore skirts? Is there a social system of democracy already instilled in our upbringing?

Why am I even challenging human nature's herd mentality.
Fuck this shit I should be working.

The Decemberist - The Perfect Crime #2

2009-09-30T04:31:00.003+08:00

I feel so alive.

The stress of articulating all my thoughts into 2500 words is so fucking stressful.

This arduous task of television studies in all its luxurious laxity.

The amounting stress accumulated just for the sake of reaching this point in time.

Time.

Word count.

Stress is one of the only emotional escape of which I embrace. The sheer realism of responsibilities, the juncture of events yet to become. Stress in all its essence is pure emotional challenge. If one could deal with stress, one has mental strength. I'm not saying I'm mentally
strong, I just like to test my mental capabilities. Maybe if I try hard enough, I will have enough power to do magic.

If I can't produce the best piece ever written, I'll damn well produce an above average piece under shitty circumstances. Fuck me and my excuses, I'm a failure of a human being. Somebody talk some sense into me please. :~~(

BRB EPIC PIECE.

Silence

2009-09-23T05:32:00.003+08:00

Blasphemous, rain drops upon a window pane during a summer's heat.
What less what more, quintessentially ironic,
An imperative design of high culture.

There is status to be gained, socialites to begone.
If no one answers the calls, who then shall define society's misfit?
You?
No sir, I am begging your pardon of such arduous accusations.
No, it is the very existence of 'Us' that defines a misfit.
The lack of tact, the mispronunciation of politically correct values.
If not I, then who?

If I won't admit to my faults,
Will you, the cultured society, admit to your weaknesses?
If I were the judge to your human failure, should you boldly defend your nature?
Or has it been the irony of shared knowledge that has led everyone to false confidence.
Does the term 'ego' spread far and wide, so much till there is none a shred of chivalry.
Your 'dawg' is by far a by product of our lowly, money & power driven, commercially improvised media consumption.

There is no case here.
There is middle aged values that has become bygones much as the tomes of old.
Buried within the stench of our machinery.

Again, the quintessential irony.
And again, imperatively failure of design.
Evolution is the bane of our very existence.
Where are our robots?
Wait, we ARE the robots.

Feist - Now At Last

2009-09-13T04:45:00.002+08:00

The hardest part of writing is coming up with the first line.

There. I said it.

Now I hate myself.

Kotaro Oshio & Char

2009-09-01T02:41:00.002+08:00

Fuck yes I'm totally driven by caffeine. My blood is rushing, my mind is on overdrive and my eyes are bloodshot. Yes its the assignment time again. Astonishingly, I'm doing Popular Asian Music.

I get to study music in Asia.

I didn't get what I asked for. I don't study music per se, I study the scene of which music takes place in Asian countries (Japan, China, Indonesia etcetc). It's as interesting as studying political situations in places around the world, though it is indeed interesting, it is boring too. Its like studying history, you learn about how rock and roll came about in China, the developments of karaoke (literally meaning empty orchestra in Japanese), the sociological analysis of its impacts on society, western influences bla-fucking-yada.

I wish we studied keys, chords, scales used in certain types of musics :( Being the music illiterate and only playing by ear (not as glamorous as it sounds when you sit down to discuss music and all its technicalities while you sit there and say "i don't know, i just play what i hear or i read tabs (pathetic /wimps)"

Then again, this is still better than studying statistics and commercial banking. \o/ Redundancy is the key to accomplish 'doing nothing'.

Balmorhea - Baleen Morning

2009-08-16T04:48:00.003+08:00

My caffeine drive just died like 10 minutes ago, so I'm gonna write in real time consciousness. Which sucks by the way.

I have acquired a new area of skills that are in development. The art of de-socializing.

First and foremost, it is often in comparison with the art of being goth and the art of being emo. It is however neither and differentiates itself by applying to a more scientific approach called being anti-social. However you don't become anti-social overnight, you develop it by initially de-socializing from your peers.

Heres a few simple steps to learn the art:

Look at the floor when you walk
You want to keep your head down in the event that someone you know is passing by. You won't see him so you don't feel the obligation to go right pass him and initiate a social interaction. If that person wants to say hi to you, let him do it on his on device. You're de-socializing, so distant yourself from social interactions. The only time when you should look straight is to look at hot chicks. (You know when one is passing when you see a hot pair of legs from your obscure vision).

Avoid eye contact when forced to be in a social interaction
Okay look, you can't keep social interactions at bay FOREVER. You might have a legitimate excuse that forces you to stand in a spot erect and speak with someone. Avoid eye contact whenever possible. Look at that huge wall beside him or the pair of hot legs that went pass you or someshit, whatever JUST DON'T LOOK INTO THEIR EYES. It gives people warm feelings about you when you do that, and obviously you don't want that.

Avoid social situations
So you've been asked out for a drink by a friend whom you're not close with or someone who disgusts you because you think he's full of shit or he just wants to party alot. DECLINE it. Lie and say you've got to do your assignments (works best) or if you can't make up shit (because you're not socially adept), slowly back away and say you can't because you're tired but all you really want to do is stay home and listen to fucktup music that kills lives. (IE: nothing from that shitty band you heard on the radio).

Stay quiet during a discussion
You're antisocial. Its not that you don't an opinion, you just don't think its worth mentioning because you have to socially communicate with people that you don't give a shit about. You just don't give a shit so stay quiet. Don't waste your time because communicating idea enforces growth in social relationships. You don't want that at all. Fade into the background. If need be, appear to be listening but you're counting the seconds to walk away. The less you say, the least likely they're gonna come looking for you to talk.

Remember, you hate people in general
Remain close to the people you deem worthy of your limited socializing time, but never interact with people outside your small circle unless deemed worth or has a pair of hot legs. You hate the masses because you think they're robots but your only few friends are cool because well, they're your only few friends. Its always best if your only few friends are online friends because that limits social interactions to times you only feel that you have the courage to talk to them about mundane shit that does not matter to you.

Do shit on your own
Eat by yourself. Run your chores alone. Watch a movie alone. Shop alone. Go to the library and pick an isolated spot to read. KEEP READING TO AVOID SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. Appear to be alone at all times but don't act lonely because thats an indication for someone whos interested in you to approach you and make small talk. Leave no opportunity for people to invade your private zone. Stay home whenever possible.

I feel so sad writing this, but I'm not anti-social. I just have fears of becoming one. Much to the irony of fear, I welcome it just as much. It's like Miley Cyrus to me, I hate her and shes bad for me, but her guitar is oh so sexy.

Wintersleep - Insomnia

2009-08-01T00:54:00.004+08:00

The last few weeks had been a ridiculous roller coaster. Skin slowly shedding. A bright light slowly forming . My ignorance is SLOWLY, and I mean epically SLOWLY disintegrating.

I feel a soul reborn.
But I'm dead tired. If I had to choose between opening my mind and staying in while reading a book, I would choose the latter hands down. Just because I'm lazy and I want to run into fantasy again.

Maybeshewill - Not For Want Of Trying

2009-07-02T23:28:00.003+08:00

Everybody knows things are bad, it's the depression. Everybody is out of work or scared of losing their job. A dollar buys a nickles worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere that seems to know what to do and there's no end to it.

We know, the air is unfit to breathe, our food is unfit to eat. We sit at home watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had 15 homicides and 63 violent crimes, as if that's the way its supposed to be.

We know things are bad, worse than bad. They're crazy, its like everything everywhere is going crazy so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house and slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller and all we say is "Please, oh please leave us alone in our living room. Let me have my toaster, my TV, my radio and I wont say anything."

Just leave us alone.

Well I'm not gonna leave you alone.
I want you to get MAD.

Some song shes playing while she does her work. (Yes you, J)

2009-06-12T23:46:00.002+08:00

I feel drained and empty. Of dreams and hopes that seemed to run each time I take a step. Gravity it seems, has a more abstract meaning than mere science.

I've been reading books as of late. Of tales where mighty adventures and basic morality is served on a silver platter. I engulf myself, detach my weary soul to live inside their words. Once I'm back, I resent everything. The colors in my life seemed dull. There is nothing mighty in my adventure nor is there anything remotely interesting.

The words I've written are held back, there is not enough valiance in me to claim knighthood in my own realm of consciousness. I hope I won't fall into my own depths of hell. I am no master.

I'd rather live in people's adventure than to venture into my own. I'm afraid, the Unknown scares the living daylights out of me more than any of you can think. Have I been playing safe throughout my life? Have I hid under the covers of excuses, evaded the quests of responsibility or rather cover myself with a blanket shivering?

No I will not say I'm taking off my blanket, leave me the fuck alone. I want to dwell in my insecurities, loneliness, selfishness, greed and ignorance. There is no space in me for greatness, I do not deserve Your *points to the sky*, prizes.

Mamiffer - Annwn

2009-05-05T23:08:00.002+08:00

There is an amount of unprecedented series of benign configurations that I have indeed selfishly put myself in. Once again in my boxers, the time is running late, staring straight into this white box of words. I am however not alone. No, not at all. She is right behind me sleeping her fever away.

The bone and flesh of words I can't produce, a stumbling mass of scars. The gazing eyes of brown. I am in envy.

Eloquently put, I am altruistically compassionate. With much wit and warmth, I have landed in an abyss. My mane is brushed aside for this manner.

...I have yet to discover, afterall, I'm still the kid from high school. Wish me luck, fools.

The Bird And The Bee - How Deep Is Your Love

2009-04-27T13:58:00.002+08:00

I enjoy luxuries. I enjoy status. I enjoy fame. I enjoy power.
I crave recognition for the hidden me is as broken as a weary soul who holds no contempt for this facade. The shallow mask for the social butterfly. The weeping moan of a ghastly entity.

The future is bleak. Should it be better, I would be surprised. Thats great, atleast I won't be disappointed when I'm in the gutter.

Plan to fail, hope to succeed.

Now if only I wasn't such a fucking pessimist.

The Shins - Know Your Onion!

2009-04-22T15:06:00.002+08:00

I hear the sound of crickets, the gushing wind from your window pane.
I watch the dim light glowing in your room.
The rising and falling of Chest.
The scattered Hair flowing like it doesn't care.
The rosewood guitar sitting with his brass strings of echoes.

I watch
and I learn.

Bosques de mi Mente - Paseo 3, otoño

2009-04-15T15:53:00.002+08:00

flickering lights,
nonchalantly blinking on and off,
it does not bother me.
our independent existence,
unrelated yet so close,
it does not bother me.
neigh heigh sleigh thou flickery light.

as i calm my nerves with a deathstick,
the frisson fades,
as i watch the blinking lights,
wander does my mind,
along the stretch of the stone cold pavement,
where i left myself.

>_> i need to start reading again.

The Album Leaf - Wherever I Go

2009-03-28T02:03:00.003+08:00

Creeping by slowly, the seconds stretches to hours in my little mind. As I gaze upon the afternoon sky, clouds of white moving ever so slowly, my internal clock moving to the rhythm of nature's background. I feel a little elated, enough to reach for my prized guitar that lay right next to me.

Sometimes this peace makes me feel like a man on top of a deserted mountain.

I love escapes. Be it music, art or words. I find a little world of my own whenever I hear/listen/read tales of which I could never dream of. My little fantasy world that I rarely relate. Dreams of omnipotence, the ones where I am on top of the world, are but tales. However dreams are dreams, and sometimes I let myself be so caught up in my little world, I shrug away reality for hours to embark in my imaginary journey.

So I lost my point. I hate it when my flow is interrupted by petty nuisances, but oh well, come what may.

Asobi Secksu - Transparence

2009-03-18T19:08:00.002+08:00

Tough luck guys!
I forgot my MySpace login. :(

I wanted to upload more goodies but sadly fate had other plans.
:(

Maybeshewill - Seraphim & Cherubim

2009-03-09T14:42:00.003+08:00

I point a middle finger to society.

Condescending niceties are for the fools to lap. Formality and familiarity with words we hear so much are being gobbled up by those who wants to hear them. My eyes are shunned at you social zombies, you deserve my sympathy; or rather enlightenment.

Fuck, I point both middle fingers to society.

Social norms are for me to wipe my ass with. Here's toilet paper for you. If I could, I would live in solace, up in the mountains untouched by our materialistic society.

However duty calls, money has to be made. Damn paradox. T_T

I'll be back for more, I suppose.

2009-02-24T15:24:00.002+08:00

While I chase materialistic goals,
The other part of me yearns for spiritual redemption.
Defy gravity, let the silence overcome the noise.
This is where we fly.

I'm thinking, you lots expected to come here to get your fill of my endeavors. Well tough luck, I'm just a pirate seeking plunder. With a bottle of rum and my handy pirate's sword, yo-ho I'm a swashbuckling pirate.

2009-02-17T14:44:00.004+08:00

Its irony that draws me in, a shuddering thought of coldness. Beneath the darkness lay a space, a void so to speak. Floating words and imagery, but wait, there is something else. Needles prickling like a bed of knives, caressing my porcelain skin. No scars, yet.

Running around in circles, though stagnant. Flutters of a wingless butterfly, a perfect analogy. The scream so silent, an understatement of an oxymoron expression. Claps of thunder reign over the territory of this circling butterfly. Very inviting, I'm sure. The image of a powerful breeze, the sound of the seas and a bed of grass. The damp smell of rain mixed with the scent of nature, I'm almost home. Though it seems I'm far from it.

Then everything changes to a dark room. The four walls with no windows, not even a door. Just the fleeting silence, the impending darkness and you.

Empty, like the end of this post
Without a full stop to top it off
no punctuations nor a capital letter to start the sentence
a fade of grammar
a fade
of

I had you there. ;)

2009-02-12T14:13:00.000+08:00

Words that should be here, will not be here.
Because I'm merely human.

The Action Design - All That Night

2009-02-05T10:16:00.001+08:00

I feel like king, albeit the fact that my throat would strongly disagree.

As Tall As Lions - Maybe I'm Just Tired (Live Acoustic)

2009-02-02T04:43:00.006+08:00

As of late I've been waiting for the moment my writing muscles would ache. The feeling of words etched into my mind waiting to be explored. The recounts of my latest adventures and misadventures begs to be told in rhymes and riddles as usual. Lately however, these words that has been formed in my mind has wandered around my music. Not MY music, but the music I listen to. (hoho I can finally say that tho I only recorded a couple of songs)

I am an aspiring writer who writes. I've never wanted attention nor fame since the creation of Mr.DonMichael. To further stress this point, no pictures, chatbox and link list. A home for my mind to wander, so to speak. A space and log for me to keep track of my capabilities, my limitations and my sarcastic hilarity (hur-dur).

I had an epiphany, I actually hate writers like me. The ones who try a little too hard to write well, underneath the horrible grammar and punctuations, redundant points and not forgetting their pea sized vocabularly. Not a speck of flare nor life from their words, only lies and failed attempts to stir the mind of readers. Don't worry failed writers, I'm with you in this one.

I need to break out, I need to get my books and fall into the world of literature once again, God knows how long I've been putting literature at bay. Only to have them mocking me silently because I can't write to my fullest potential. ;_;

Stay alive anonymous (and not so anonymous) readers, watch me grow. Also monetarily, I've been having rotten luck. The fucking stars are on to me.

PS: Backlog on writing material building up. Oh sweet words, I've missed you so.

2009-01-26T04:48:00.002+08:00

My music is up.
I composed 2 songs for a friend's short film.

DonMaikeru - Tranquility, the Journey Home

I'll post the 2nd up soonish.

2009-01-25T14:19:00.004+08:00

I woke up as if I left a dream,
Of bliss I could scream.
The boy who dared to dream,
Who had nothing left but a scheme.
Where was the hope that gleamed,
Mixed messages filled to the brim.
In the end, I deem the dream as just a dream.

The Hoosiers - Run Rabbit Run

2009-01-22T02:40:00.001+08:00

Mogwai live was awesome.
:3

I'll do a writeup on it in due time because its definitely an experience to remember.

Only Crime - Take Me

2009-01-16T19:43:00.004+08:00

So there I was, in my awesome gear. Sporting an average tee paired with my trusty Stussy shorts. I sat on the comfy chair, anticipating the words that sounded so right in my head. The ideas I had whilst asleep, glorifying my perception. The image I created out of thin air, certain that it would do me good.

He was feminine and very gay, though his ethnicity is still a mystery to me. His eyes were weary, I was certain he was feeling lethargic because his hands were shaky during this ordeal. As I told him to do as he please (first mistake), he started working in a robotic way. I'm sure he's done this to many guys like me.

So there I was, looking at the mirror in front of me, while he did his work. Thirty minutes passed by in a blink of an eye, yet I felt somewhat unfulfilled. I needed to feed the urge of image experimentation.

Now I've always been a fan of experimenting with my appearance, I've been through the phase of wearing trendy cartoon t-shirts while I was young to being a poser wearing hip hop apparel (think REALLY baggy shiny t-shirts with a tucker cap on sideways and lets not forget the jeans that was double the length of my legs with fucking huge ass pockets to put shit in it), to a comfortable sense of style blending elements of being a rocker, sceneters and the cheapo who wears whatever that was there.

I had my ears pierced when I was 13, my parents were with me. I had numerous other piercings during high school, but I took them all off when I started expanding just one piercing. It has been 4 years since I had my 8mm diameter ear gauge. I had a million and one hairstyles, from the dorky middle parting, to something that resembles an afro, to a mediocre mohawk and a red mohawk, and the fringe of an emo boy.

Okay lets get back to my story.

So I told him I wanted more. I wanted red, but before that I wanted to have a cigarette too. So I did.

Now lets skip an hour.

So I was sitting there right, getting my hair towelled off when I saw, the most horrifying thing that I've ever done to myself. I had highlights the color of red, on the verge of pink. The fringe of a failed ahbeng, the bright red/pink in full view. I stared at myself and in my head I screamed the usual 'WTF IS THIS SHIT AND HOW THE FUCK DID IT GET THIS WAY' mantra.

Now I don't really have a problem with bad hair because I always wear a cap. However with gym and CNY formalities around the corner, it would be unethical if I wore a cap to a reunion dinner. So fuck, I'm gonna have hell to deal with.

Unrelated: I don't usually write like this don't worry. If you found my work irritating, I must apologize for it is an abnormality. Usually I would proofread and follow the basic structure and methodology of writing. Though I've never been consistent with my work and also my on-off days where my vocabulary is just all over the place (today), I hope you readers realize that I'm a mere student, not an English professor.

2009-01-15T14:13:00.001+08:00

＼（－－）／I surrender.

There is no other way. I have to reform.

EPIC TURNOVER IS TAKING TOOOOOOOO LONG.

I WONT GIVE UP, NO NO NO, NO.

No.ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ

Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice

2009-01-13T19:26:00.001+08:00

Gonna waste my life with some RPGs.
Brb life.

Yann Tiersen - Childhood

2009-01-04T07:42:00.002+08:00

The candle flickers on its journey,
On the line of being turned off and staying on,
The dancing flame momentarily,
Glimmers in hope, holding on.

I've said this all too many times. The light that you have when you journey into darkness, an unknown territory of emotions and experiences, that light will be hanging on a thread. Once in awhile, you would think all hope is lost, but most of the time the light shines bright.

When the light dims, the overwhelming darkness fills the once bright areas of your scene. You fear of losing hope, the coldness sends shivers down your spine. You long for the light again, you want your hope back. You feel so helpless as the hope you've held on to slowly slip away. You feel as if you're losing yourself in your way.

Wake up, the light is back on. Your source of life is the warmth you feel when your heart has been touched. The fuzzy feeling that opens your eyes, in full attention. Desperately trying to take a photograph in your memory and to keep the light in your hands for all eternity. Because you know at some point, the light will go dim once again. You know the darkness will once again take over you. You remember the chill, the scary emotions and the scars prickle as a constant reminder.

Because only when we are surrounded by darkness, we seek the light we once had.

Meg & Dia - Indiana

2009-01-03T05:28:00.002+08:00

I love mind games. I love reading mixed messages, deciphering body language and reading behind the lines. Even if I'm not a complete master of this mundane art of communicative language, I strive to understand, to connect so to speak.

She sat up straight, the words caught her attention. In awe of the sheer brilliance that stood in front of her. Her hearts beats slightly harder as the words passes through her mind, making more and more sense the more she reads it.

Some people wouldn't believe the lies put forth in contempt. But neither does the world understand literary from ancient history.

But who are we to judge? They may have discovered sarcasm, oh sweet sarcasm. What bestowed in thy mind have?

Saosin - Love Maker (Acoustic)

2009-01-02T14:55:00.002+08:00

Obligatory post, happy new year.

That is all.

Orangutans, they love monster trucks

2008-12-27T10:44:00.003+08:00

The rare picture post.

2008-12-21T04:04:00.002+08:00

So I've tried and tried. When you try and try, you weep nonchalantly the same verse you've repeated throughout every failure; "I've tried my very best". When you felt that your best has never been the greatest, not worthy of an ovation, hardly worth a clap from a 5 year old down syndrome kid, still you pat yourself on the back, seeking comfort from yourself that what you deemed to be best you have done, was ultimately the "most" you could've done.

Don't you see how pathetic that is?

Without being the least bit sarcastic, our abilities somewhat mocks our intended will, limiting our capabilities. Face it, we all want to be great at the things we do. We want the world to know that we are talented, that we are prime examples of upper echelons of society. The people who succeed, rather than the harsh reality that not everyone would make it. Not everyone makes the cut.

So its okay to fail once and awhile, we are but humans.

Oh btw, epic turnover is in full blown speed. Check with me IRL in a couple of months.

Flyleaf - Fully Alive

2008-12-12T21:43:00.005+08:00

And with a kiss on the forehead, her eyes laid carefully on her one and only son's eyes. With hopes of fulfilling her role as a healer, hoping to heal his wounds. She had tears on her eyes, for her love for her only child had been betrayed by the powers of anguish and pain, greed and evil.

"Did it work Hiro? Do you remember?"

"Yes, mother. I remember everything."

The short flash of happiness that was once on Hiro's face vanished, as his eyes turned from clear to heavy burdened eyes. Tears formed around Hiro's eyes as he said;

"And I remembered how much I missed you"

He broke in tears as he hugged his mother with full force.

Heroes S03E12
This is when I teared, I couldn't help it.

Strung Out - Analog

2008-12-12T02:43:00.003+08:00

Strange. The day covered in darkness and the night covered in light. Something must be done for I am turning nocturnal once again. The sun fools my internal clock to sleep, hindering the normal functions of an everday human being. I am not human, I am a vampire. I feed on darkness and I twist the brightness that fills the day.

WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING.

I am superior, in the essence of time and of course in the essence of potential. I am inferior, by abilities and personality. Justify your reasons, for your protagonist is not a mere loser, bent on the irrelevant implications put forth by my social acquaintances and I shall bribe you, the readers, a cookie for your efforts.

WHO THE FUCK EVEN UNDERSTANDS WHAT I WRITE.

Devoted readers of Mr. Donmichael, report in!
Rhetorical, I assure you.

2008-11-28T04:25:00.001+08:00

I'm full of shit, no doubt about it.

Copeland - The Last Time He Saw Dorie

2008-11-26T03:57:00.002+08:00

Tick tock goes the clock as time dies away, justifying its means as just a clock. A plain old clock, showing you the time, your personal planner by the seconds, the judgment and timing for your actions. The hand never goes back, it ventures to the same place everyday, only its on a different day. The hand never travels ahead, turning only on its own place. Time is the essence.

We wonder how time has gone past so fast, how empty it felt, how we wish we could go back. We dread about how time was agonizingly slow, how miserable it felt, how we wish we could make it go faster.

But when we are truly enjoying our time, we never make a comment about it, we never took note of how we should've embrace the time that was given to us. Time is the essence.

Madness I tell you, madness. When everything wrecks havoc, virtues are tossed aside. On our backs, the demon rages on its path of destruction. Destroying everything but the rage. The rage is the last to go. When the red mist clears, the damage has been seen. The destruction, the fury within those eyes that were clouded with darkness.

The warrior held his sword up high in victory, blood covers the blade, blocking the reflection of the once beautiful sword. With a swift slashing motion, the blood is gone. A mere swift motion.

Sufjan Stevens - To The Workers of the Rock Riv

2008-11-21T06:14:00.003+08:00

The feeling of something lodged in your throat, choking you. Your breaths are numbered, you feel the chill as you brace yourself for what is coming.

Never knowing the end result of your endeavours.

It is somewhat nostalgic, like I've been here before. In my boxers, in front of this empty box of words at 6.15 in the morning. Like I've been here before, contemplating my grand plan for an epic turnover. It seemed so near the last time I checked, but not any more. The huge wall between discipline and indulgence had me back on the ground, square one.

There is a huge difference between ambitions and abilities. You may be ambitious, however if your abilities had you limited (or short of willpower if you want to put it), you end up with meaningless words, empty promises, shattered dreams, anguish, frustrations and every synonymous word for failure.

Face it, you're judged by their measure of success. You may be happy inside, but in the eyes of society, success is your happiness (and their envy). We hear stories of amazing people, doing amazing things. Yet here we are, dwelling on the simplest matter to barely succeed. Harbouring thoughts of insecurities, deeming that we have a bigger chance at failure before we face the challenge.

Frail and weak, that is the flame that sings to us. Slowly burning out, our ambitions separates us from reality. Being pulled back to the ground is the tune we've all heard.

Feel the object lodged in your throat, stealing your breath as you feel the chill rising. Brace yourself for failure, but never give up. You have won one battle.

Saosin - Penelope (acoustic)

2008-11-18T02:42:00.000+08:00

If you're looking for an update, don't bother.

I'm much too tied up with current affairs that I shan't be bothered with social interactions anymore.

Epic turnover, here I come.

Bellatrax feat. Sophia May - I Can't Help Myself (Henry John Morgan Mix)

2008-11-06T05:43:00.004+08:00

Advance English in 2 hours! YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS! :D
Writing muscle flexing #2.

As I lit my cigarette in irony, knowing the aptly named cancer stick/death stick would someday be the cause of my problems. However, for just this moment, what you call a death stick is what I call my relief.

We are society's misfits, even if we smokers are a big number, we are still misfits. Somehow we have our "rights" and "manners".We have our section in your restaurants, and ashtray at every bar, the term sitting outside is as close to sitting in a smoking zone. There are no real social rules, only those who fear death would avoid us like a plague. However we rule the ashtrays, we are in your corporations stealing breaks, outside your school flickering our ashes on your pathway, on the streets waiting and our scent in your nose.

Smoking is a social tool. Hi, could I bum a cigarette from you? Congratulations, you just made a connection. We judge your personality by how you smoke, what you smoke and how you carry that cigarette. A beginner could be recognised almost instantly and they are not forgiven. There is no hiding your inexperience with our nicotine. Fakers could NEVER never get away. Our senses are sharp and we won't be fooled.

Obviously we do not recommend anyone picking up the habit, its hazardous, its a bad habit, we fucking know, but the path we've already walked on is hard to turn back. The further we've walked down the road, the longer it is to journey back to nicotine-less ways.

Don't even attempt to lecture us of the dangers. We fucking know even before we picked up the habit. We fucking know it is the source of lung cancer. We FUCKING know.

You could however point out that the smoke is hitting your face, we have to decency to apologise and compromise our freedom for your innocence. Smoking etiquette guides us to be more socially applicable.

Unrelated:
No mojo to write today :( My ideas aren't clear and I can't focus. Maybe it's because I just woke up and everything is a tad bit hazy. Oh and maybe because its 6.40am. SO MANY EXCUSES! MUDADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA T_______T

2008-11-05T05:34:00.002+08:00

This is emotion. The flow of melodies fluidly poetic, strategically placed and celestially harmonised to perfection. Precision and accurate, master of the instrument, sell-outs beware. The never ending peace and serendipity compels the soul to connect. Spiritually lifting, carefully dreamy.

This is music.
This is why we care.

2008-11-05T03:24:00.003+08:00

The objects of indulgence,
So rich and abundant,
Unlike objects of purity,
Lost and forever irrelevant.

Behold! Alas! Witness!
By God we're fooled!
Look at our faces.

May winter ride our waves,
Of sorrow and joy non-existent,
We are not alone,
Purity? Hearts are never pure,
Much as the reasons we fear,
To bear witness of our fail.

Daft Punk - One More Time

2008-11-02T01:27:00.007+08:00

DonMichael is going through some changes.
Anyone who cares and will miss this DonMichael, feel free to drop a message here to bid your goodbyes.

It's time I turn into a man, rather than this pathetic attempt of soulful sorrow induced crackhead. Your protagonist is bowing his head, ushering a change of scene. Buds of may. (Insert ironic poetry).
...wait, what?

Tommy Emmanuel - Angelina

2008-11-01T04:02:00.004+08:00

So what do you tell a blind child, what colours look like?

A man takes two rocks. He puts one in the freezer and the other one in an oven. He then explains that the hot one is red and the cold one is blue. He explains yellow is the colour of happiness and liberty, green is the sound of rustling leaves, and swaying trees and orange as the fruit named after it.

Although it is practical, the approach seemed flawed. Colours are visual stimulus. Imagery should be defined with the use of two or more senses; how it is viewed and how it makes us feel. Relating colours to just the emotions does not justify colours completely. Just like why black is not just about darkness but also a sign of respect and white as peace and also elegance.

By implying that colours are based on emotions and feelings, colours become abstract. No more dependant on visual imagery, we don't have to see it to know it anymore. Thus the approach has failed. However it is not a complete failure, because although the blind are not in a visual world, they gain some sort of apprehension of the definition of colours through what they feel. They feel the colours without knowing what colours really is.

There is no right or wrong solution.

Ironic and depressing, as I click the orange box called 'Publish Post'.

2008-10-31T04:03:00.003+08:00

I'm here to address a couple of issues regarding my change of layout.
I made it more readable.
Its staying.
Not putting up a tagboard (its a lure for trolls). Sorry Steph :(
No links (Apologies to everyone who linked me expecting to be linked back :( you can delete me if you wish).

No unnecessary content and blablabla.

I've created the ultimate personal space for public reading. How fucking contradictory. No wonder I don't write about my personal life without rhymes and riddles to fool the masses.

The Scene Aesthetic - Alvin Maker's Greensong

2008-10-28T01:41:00.003+08:00

There are only a couple of rules that you need to fucking abide when you go to the movies.

1. Do not let your phone ring
2. Do not answer your phone for more than 10 seconds. You're only granted 10 seconds to explain yourself then shut it off.
3. Do not invade your neighbor's personal space. (Your seat is the border)
4. Do not fucking lean your leg onto the chair in front of you (if it's occupied).
5. Do not fucking shake your leg ever.
6. Do not fart. Be a girl and hold that shit in.
7. If you have to cough/sneeze/clear your throat, do it discretely.
8. Do not be a nuisance, don't ask too many questions and refrain from excessive remarks.
9. Always look out for signs from your neighbors signaling that you're making them feel uncomfortable. Then STOP whatever the fuck you were doing.

It's not rocket science, fucktards. Even a 5 year old would know better than to break any of these rules.

Someone broke rules number 4 & 5 the last time I went to the movies. That fucktard was shaking my chair and I did a rule number 9 on that fucker. I looked behind a couple of times but NO he did not take note of my anger.

So I turned and told the motherfucker "Could you please stop shaking the chair" in a not-so polite tone.

..only to hear him utter in a fearful voice; 'sorry', realizing that he'd fucked up.

Circa Survive - We're All Thieves

2008-10-26T16:44:00.000+08:00

Changed for change.

2008-10-25T16:52:00.001+08:00

Aha! To be astounded. An army of assholes, an association armed with an arsenal of asinine ambiguously adult anonymity. This antiquated armada, no mere attack force, is an astounding assembly of articulate aristocrats. Assuming the collective affliction has not abruptly atrophied, another day of ardent internet arguments arises. Under the ambiguous aegis of internet anonymity, all annoying assertions may be announced with reckless abandon. Apology? Do not forgive.
Alas, I am aflutter. After the anticipation.

You may call me Anonymous

By Anonymous

Asian Kung-Fu Generation - Riraito

2008-10-24T22:29:00.004+08:00

As I limn the perfect words of destruction, life's irony threatens our very description of our ill conceived perception. No longer are our words ever meaningful.
As the flames that exudes our liveliness, there's no way in hell our life if ever, lively.

The game is meaningless. Life is the game we will never win.

...wait, what?

Anberlin - Breaking

2008-10-16T05:04:00.001+08:00

Lies.
I've filled this page with lies.

EDIT
I got my Advance English paper back today.
My lecturer said that I had a fluid style of writing. Strong language and expression.
Huge potential and she enjoys my work.

..but she also said I don't refer back to materials. I was merely bullshitting through the paper.
HAHHAHA FIRST TIME GETTING CAUGHT BULLSHITTING.

..still that didn't stop her from giving me an A.

Koko Kaina - First Untitled

2008-10-10T05:46:00.001+08:00

OMFG I HATE MATHS FUCK MATHS YO!
WORDS > NUMBERS KTHXBAI.

The Used - Take it Away

2008-10-09T07:37:00.000+08:00

My day starts at 1am.
I sleep at 3 - 5pm in the day and wake up 12 -1am.
I am now fully nocturnal.

Fuck the rules and fuck society!

Shiro Sagisu - Going Home

2008-10-04T08:45:00.003+08:00

And thus began; Mr. DonMichael's downfall.

And just like any tale, a new chapter unfolds.

I love oxymoronic expressions. The silent scream. The deafening silence. The beautiful noise. The meaningful paradox.

Yoko Shimomura - Final Fantasy Versus XIII Theme

2008-09-29T20:36:00.002+08:00

Its coming together now. I see the road paved in front of me. The luscious green tress, the endless breeze hitting my ankles. The wide path beckoning me to walk on it. I hear the "calling", some might say. I'm "finding myself", some might add. I call this my journey, my path.

your beautiful skin is radiant
just like the smirk so white, its equivalent
your white dress, filled with deception
kill me once more, with that gaze
swallow me blasphemy
shake me with your irony.

OBTW, FFXIII & FFVersusXIII looks so fucking awesome. I feel like a geek waiting for Santa.

Tunturia - Cast Shadows on Clouds

2008-09-26T21:40:00.003+08:00

Do you see it?
That smile that never fades,
That pose that never falters,
Those eyes that drains you.

Do you see it?
The sorrow behind the smile,
The pain behind her pose,
The loneliness those eyes.

Do you feel it?
The warmth you'll always have,
The words you'll always hear,
The jokes you'll always laugh at.

Do you feel it?
That coldness after the warmth,
That silence that penetrated the air,
That sarcasm she has hinted.

Now, wake the fuck up. Do you see it? Do you feel it?

Meg & Dia - Cardigan Weather

2008-09-26T04:48:00.005+08:00

I've got English Advance exam in abit. Four essays in three hours. Not a problem.

I will flex my writing muscles just before the exam. Watch this space. Time for me to get some sleep.

Reminder: Bend It Like Beckham directed by Gurinder Chadha, Men are from Mars Women are from Venus by Dr. John Gray. Ora Gygi, "Things are Seldom What They Seem"

EDIT: GOOD FUCKING MORNING. BLUR MODE IS ON. :(

Writing muscles: Activated.

I stand here today, questioning my capability in this life that I've chosen. I'm fairly introverted compared to the Don everyone knew of long ago. Way back in the day where my life was all about thrill seeking and living on the fine line between good and bad.

I've had my share of bad encounters, bad incidents, bad choices, bad judgment and bad company. At any given time I could have crossed over to the dark side of society, a misfit in the social circle (by that I was referring to the politically correct circle) and an outcast in society (without saying I'm not totally an outcast already).

I'll be frank, I know myself I could have done a worse job with myself. I have the capacity to be an evil and dangerous character in all of your lives. But I'm not. In fact I'm quite the opposite. I'm harmless and approachable. I listen and interact. I share and indulge. For the most part, I care.

I'm sure you think this could be a revelation in social science. HA.

Even if any of you think I'm an asshole who wouldn't care less about your current issue (however a waste of time it may be), deep down inside, I actually do care tho I don't show it. I'm fairly complex in this scenario because I remain emotionless throughout my life.

I'll take my stance in my social standing. I don't desire popularity but I do encourage attention to be paid on me. I seem to have accomplished that already. I'm alot like what you've been told if you don't know me. I'm also not alot of things that people claim.

K my writing confirm karat. CB I'm losing my punctuations, vocabulary and my thought process is pathetic. I hope I could brainstorm a masterpiece during the exam. FUCK YAR. Thank God I'm allowed to be witty in my work.

2008-09-20T03:33:00.002+08:00

I'm shaking.
WTF, this shake I can't control. I can't overcome.
BRB.

EDIT: It all boils down to intimidation and a show of power.

It's that shit

2008-09-20T03:33:00.000+08:00

I'm holding back on something. I'm leaving something to be desired.

My full potential? Not too full at the moment kthanks.

Soon Don, soon.

2008-09-14T01:13:00.000+08:00

THIS IS HOW I ROLL!

Where?

2008-09-11T18:26:00.002+08:00

The train has left the station,
With no one on board,
Did we lose track?
Have we forgotten where we're headed?

If I told you,
That nothing is the matter,
That the world is as I thought it'd be,
Would you reassure me once again?
Or would you act as if your world is the same.

So far away,
Our hopes were lost,
Our dreams were shattered,
Just for this one chance,
This one hope, to soar through the skies.

Did you notice the sky has turned purple?
The skies we once sought after,
Where we sworn to go in laughter,
The one place governed by no master,

Yes, its purple now,
Corrupted and hazed,
Forsaken and stained,

And that's that, they said.

this is again, not poetry.

Chilled Ibiza

2008-08-31T20:35:00.002+08:00

Now I know I got myself a couple of devoted readers who checks in every other day.
Most of whom I've never met in real life (yes I know you're reading) and majority of you are females.

The only reason why I don't write about my personal life is because of the random readers that I DO know who reads up very randomly.

I LOVE talking to strangers tho.

The American Dollar - Starscapes

2008-08-24T05:48:00.002+08:00

In 10 days, I'll bid goodbye to the empty canvas on my left leg. For it will be filled.

The longest run would always be the run towards the future. It's the longest because we won't know where we're running till we hit a fork. We run and run never knowing when it ends nor the estimation of our strengths. We just run. Aimlessly. Randomly.

Even when the sweat drops from our chin, we're told to push on. Barely taking a second to breathe, basking in the scenery beside us. Only a glance of where we've come to only to know our place and nothing more. Just endless running, endless doubts of making it and dreading how far more we've got. Bragging how far we've made it.

No matter, we're still running beside each other. Oh the irony.

2008-08-23T16:59:00.000+08:00

Swallow me blasphemy,
Shake me with your irony.

The Piano in the Forest

2008-08-21T15:01:00.002+08:00

The piano in the forest,
With the sound resounding,
Do you hear the trees swaying,
The mellow melodies filling the silence.

The lonesome boy,
Melancholic,
Do you hear his sorrows,
From the piano in the forest.

It was his perfect world,
He had no one to impress,
No one cared if he missed a note,
Only him, pouring his soul into the lonesome forest.

this is not poetry.

Who are you Don?

2008-08-19T04:09:00.003+08:00

In the moments you close your eyes and you embrace the moment. Where everything spins and you move your body to the rhythm of your own beat. You feel the warmth as you breathe in. Your mind does not wander far nor does it linger long. Your thoughts are exactly where they are supposed to be. Your words, thick and full of meaning without having to be defined. This is how it feels to be real. This is how 'real' feels like.

Your eyes begin to open. A smile spreads across your face. This is no ordinary smile I assure you. This is the everlasting smile that represents your emotions. For future reference, you play back the memories that reminds you how that smile feels like. That happiness that you would miss so dearly. Once you remember, your head tilts and once again, you close your eyes to live in that moment once again.

The emotion; happiness. Do you remember? How lightheaded you were? How you thought the philosophers were wrong about their outlook on life? How you've transformed from a lost soul, to the soul that knows happiness is not a figment of your imagination? Don, do you remember? Or rather, would you remember? If for that instance, your life had been define by that moment, would you take a second to truly rejoice that you are indeed, understood.

Just exactly who are you Don?

Have you lost yourself in your own world? Have you lost yourself to a point where you couldn't care less about the people around you? Lost and emotionless? Empty and drained? Wheres the passion and flare that you desire so much? Wheres the goals and ideals that you could easily instill into other people gone to? Have you forgotten the hope you bring? Or are you doomed to only provide happiness but never achieve happiness?

Don, when was the last time you were truly happy? When was the last time you closed your eyes in the moment to embrace life? When was the last time you felt truly alive? When was the last time you heard the word 'compassion' that describes you? Instead of words like 'manipulative','arrogant' or any other synonyms of acting superior?

DonMichael, when was the last time you gave your heart out? When have you ever showed your own emotions without having to justify them?

When the ray of hope shines on your feet, feel free to dive and embrace its warmth. Make the memories that will last and prepare for the scars that will constantly remind you. Know thyself before thy love. Love yourself before you love others. You've been too level headed because you always keep yourself bottled up. Perhaps, in the near future, before you break, you should open up.

I want to jump, to make sure someone catches me at the end. I want certainty that I'm not as cracked up as I think I am. I think I'm an absolute beast, synonymous for being a total asshole. To a point that my behavior could be justified when deep down, I know I'm wrong.

This is exactly what I was looking for. For this hope, and all the smiles that really shuts you up. I want to attach myself to all the energy that this hope puts out. Somehow, I always feel like reaching inside to grab whats left in my heart, to put it on the pedestal for her to take. However, I chickened out. Now this hope has been put aside to the "what-ifs" category in my life. Forever kept a secret, locked away; probably for good. To further justify my nobler nature.

I'm not done just yet.

Faith - What lies?

2008-08-15T05:24:00.002+08:00

Glass. Transparency. Beliefs. Principals. Faith.

The concept of utopia is to shape an ideals society. This is only done when everyone's ideals are completely the same. Everything is as it seems. Unifying beliefs and principals as well as having complete faith in everyone and everything. Complete transparency and no one is different.

The annihilation of individuality. The dark side of the power to control. Total dictation of how society are to lead their lives. The epitome of being fucked.

Faith as we all presume it to be, is totally believing in the words we hold to dearly and the trust we led to wrap around our hearts. Faith gives us no control of the spinning wheel of destiny. All faith gives us is hope. The hope for good, for a ray of light no matter how bleak the room in our eyes are. Faith pushes us on in our darkest moments, just as long as we believe, we think of a chance that the situation could be turned for the better. Faith unifies our spirits and strengthen our wills.

Then comes the down side of faith. Faith is a double edge sword. Faith does not tell us what to do when we're faced with trouble. Faith is not inclined for you to lead a better life, it does the exact opposite. Faith throws beliefs at you. Faith restrains your freedom, limits your capabilities. Faith mildly dictates your action, faith inclines you to act the way you are led to believe is justifiable. If things fuck up, you're "not doing it right", so to speak. Faith entices us to believe that if we put in some hope to what we're about to do, it should turn out right. There is no science to this, there is no logical explanation to describe how faith works.

Faith is purely subjective.

Faith is not how we think about it. Faith is what we make of it. Faith is not believing in what others say. Faith does not dictate how we live. Faith is not a restraint.

Faith is believing in ourselves, what we're capable of. It gives ourselves a chance to actually push forward during our darkest hour. Faith does not bring about hope in mankind, but only to our personal mentality. No doubt faith unifies people, but it is not out of faith we are unified; it is the hope that we see in each other that makes us stick together. Whenever we are lost, all we want is a single ray of hope. That's when faith barges in on us to let us know we can pull ourselves together.

This is only partly why I want faith to be painted on the surface of my skin. Not only due to religious view, but how meaningful the ideals of faith could be stretched to.

In circles we run

2008-08-11T04:58:00.002+08:00

I feel oddly out of place. I feel like I'm lost in a maze which I created. Everything is at the back of my head, but I'm still not where I'm supposed to be. Like I trapped myself and now I'm going in a circular motion. A repetitive vicious circle. Sometimes a reality check, sometimes I just wanna know where I'm going.

You've been told to do whatever you wanted yet cockblocked from absolute freedom. Binding you to their mercy, yet you're led to believe that you control your own world. When really, you're nothing but a reproduction of their ideals. You spread your wings as far as you could but its merely within range of THEIR (not your) judgment between right and wrong. No matter how free you are, you still desire to please those who made you who you are.

Living without ever feeling alive. The only time you feel alive is when everything spins out of proportion. Its like the classic scenario where drama only erupts when everyone is pissed drunk. True feelings and intentions spills all over the place. The reclusive character lets off his inside demons, only at the expense of those who are letting their own demons out.

I can't let my life control me. To be honest, I'd be dead if I let myself do whatever I feel like. Sometimes I need to be pressured to keep myself together. I need reassurance that I'm fucking up, so that I'll be aware that I should manage myself. If I let myself spin out of control, inevitably I'll walk down a road that no man should ever walk; failing so bad beyond recognition.

I've told myself a million times; "just this once", "I swear I'd keep it together", "I don't really need this", "I'm living up to expectations"; but really I'm telling myself I'm being a fuckup but that's okay. I hate living up to preconceived ideas, but sometimes, I just want to be whatever everyone thinks I am. I want to fit in. I want to be a functional member of society.

Other times, I want to be different. I want to be the man who walked on the path less taken. I want to live my dream instead of occasionally visiting it whenever I close my eyes. I want to be looked upon as someone inspiring. I want to pour my heart and soul to the things I do. I'd also want to make those things that I do seem so effortless.

Let us now dwell on our emotions. Reach inside yourself and grab the biggest piece in your heart. Lay it on the table and ask yourself; is really big enough? Evaluate your feelings. Do you feel 'butterflies'? Or do you feel emptiness.

Now I'll mindfuck you. I can't seem to grab onto anything down there. Its either my tar infested lungs obstructing my way or the fact that its already into pieces (and I know most of you feel the same). Either way, if you're just like me, you feel absolutely empty. I'm sure we've all felt empty before and we've all tried to fill in the hole. Some go to religion. Some used expressive art medium. Some just lay there and gloat, fucking depressed and shit and finally sends an entry to post-secret about how fucktup they are.

No not me. I'm fucking planning world domination. Someone like me, with the correct tools and audience, I could start a cult of mini-Dons. Infact, if you've read the start of this post to this point here, you've already contracted my disease. Face it, you want to hear more. Now I'll cut you off.

VA - Anjunabeats

2008-08-08T04:22:00.002+08:00

Rush into the stream of thought. Unfold once and maybe twice but never thrice. Forget your past, care less about your future. Live not in the moment, but for the moment. Breath the air of being alive and dive deep into the river of hope. Take yourself to wherever life takes you.

Engage in your conversations. Be present in your ideas. Coherently express yourself.

Be the person you've always wanted to be. Strive for perfection without ever having to define perfection.

Do you really know yourself?

2008-08-04T00:59:00.003+08:00

I'm tired. The blasphemy which people speaks of, I'm running into it. Just like when you're young, you're taught not to make so much noise in public. Here I am, planning to make my voice sound louder than those around me. I'm standing up to the silence and making myself known.

...but didn't somebody already done that?

No matter which path you take, someone already took it. No matter where you go, someone has already been there. What is the use of individuality when everyone already proclaim to be an individual? How do you acquire unique characteristics when you're already somebody you don't plan to be? Who said you could touch the cake that I've prepared and who the hell let the dogs into our town?

We could be ourselves and be the best we can be. We could make all the right decisions in the world but at the end of the day, when someone whispers to your ear so lightly, that you're incompetent, naive or does not fulfill the basic characteristics of how you should be. You break. You fall to the depths of insecurity. You don't even need to show it. A slight motion of inadequacy could render the toughest man in the room to an insecure self-conscious meat sack.

Actions speak louder than words? Bullshit. That only works when it comes to things you don't say or things you don't do. That being, you put it in the opposite like if you can't express your love verbally, you put it into actions like remembering your partner's favorite movies and use the lines in that movie to impress them. However it does apply to actual facts that communication is all about communicating. No one cares how you actually do it.

But deeper into this, if the words you could say becomes a powerful tool for manipulation. How your confidence could wrap the people around you into balls and worn for rings. How you could send mixed signals and demonstrate your worthiness without a hint of ulterior motive. Ninja tactics, where you ninja your objective into their minds without directly doing so. The key to doing this, is to be the dominant force from the beginning.

By motioning superiority in the slightest tone, you proclaim the right to be bigger than those around you. But what if the tables are turned and you're on the other end of inadequacy? Wait, have you even told someone off without feeling bad? Have you bragged about yourself and gleefully enjoy the attention? Makes you feel good eh, demonstrating your values.

If not, you're just average. You fade into the background in your social circle. You're just the person they've hung out with. You don't have any significant impact towards life. Your shockwaves could not reach even your neighbor. To put it simply, you're just insignificant.

But if you did, even if you did it subconsciously or you do not mean to. You become like a representative. You have most of the say in the group and most likely, whatever comes out of your mouth garners the attention from everyone. You'll experience suck ups and admiration from many. You become someone people would think about. You're significant.

However you'll be living a lie. You could talk yourself out of any situation, but deep down, you're damage and sometimes you secretly want to be the background. You broke yourself.

Just because you achieve individuality, does not make you an individual. Adversely, you become everyone else. Either significant or insignificant.

I want to know who I really am. I'm fucking tired of the mind games I've played throughout my life and I just want a confirmation of who I am and what it actually took to get here. Self discovery and soul seeking, really does it have to be that deep?

2008-07-30T06:31:00.002+08:00

Why do we try to shut out demons,
When we should be looking out for angels.

Guillemots - Kriss Kross

2008-07-27T02:29:00.003+08:00

Maybe one day, when I'm brave enough.
I'll talk about it. I'll relate to someone about. I'll pour my heart out and maybe attempt to fill the hole in my heart.

..but right now, as the day grows closer to exactly a year, I'll shift my body uncomfortably. Slightly disturbed, mostly pain. I still miss you.

For now, I'll play the memories that reminds me of your greatness. I'll live in that moment just long enough till I wake up to realize you're not just gone but gone forever. Sometimes I'll look at my tattoo, not because of its artistic expression, but the meaning of lost that I'll bear for the rest of my life. Never forgetting my place.

My next piece of body art would also be another expression. A message of religion, values and faith.

Personal Reminder

2008-07-26T17:00:00.000+08:00

Start: 11/7/08

Another reminder:
Appointment: 3/9/08

Flobots - Handlebars

2008-07-13T22:44:00.002+08:00

The thing about responsibilities; harnessed by lives. Intimately auspicious while the firm grip holds us so dearly tight. Making our decisions revolve around our priorities. Biased, almost worded. Diving into the deep sea where we drown if diving is unfamiliar, graceful otherwise. Dwells in our minds not we are incapable but instances we feel omnipotent, we soar through the skies as how we dive into life so graceful, the deep seas would surely tremble.

Sustaining fortitude seems to be the greatest solution to mankind's problems yet the hardest achieve. Not that its hard, its just the grasp of our problems itself proves to be problematic. It is not a question of egos too, its just that our awareness is so limited to just the moment we live in.

The big picture can be so vague, just when is the picture in our minds ever big enough. Or do we have to picture it so big, that we are well ready for world domination. Ridiculous, I know. Reaching back, the bigger the picture the less detail there is and we all know how important intricate details are.

And all you 'readers' thought you'd never see this side of me again.
Pfft, what a fucking load of bull. My wings are too fucking big. Watch me soar mofokers. Tho I might be over my head lah. Doesn't matter.

Flyleaf - Supernatural (Acoustic)

2008-07-12T01:57:00.002+08:00

So, I'm out of the Singles Club kthxbai.
ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ

The Watson Twins - How Am I To Be

2008-07-09T13:31:00.003+08:00

I failed to apply the cat string theory. I did not give myself a time constraint. There were no canned lines. There were no obstacles. I did not look for IOIs. I was not the AMOG.

There was only me and the moment we trapped ourselves in.

I proved to myself I didn't need the Game. I only needed the idea of the game.

The Last Mile

2008-07-04T00:17:00.005+08:00

One more zombie night.
This last zombie night is crucial.

Edit: 4.35am. I have a love/hate relationship with the economy nao. Hopefully I'll remember everything I read. About 3 more chapters left then I'm drawing relationships with each chapters and then I'll try some application studies. Seriously not easy when you're blur on the fundamentals of diagram theories and I'm expected to explain my shit using all the diagrams.

Well I asked for this lol. To think I started studying at 12.30am, how far do you think I could go anyway. If I could put down those who studied since last week, I would be God.

Edit: 6.35am. Lol K too late now, gotta get ready for college. Idk my thoughts are all over the place lol. I don't care anymore OK! ＼（－－）／I surrender.

2008-06-30T04:59:00.001+08:00

Greed:	High
Gluttony:	High
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	High
Pride:	Very High

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

They're on to me!

Edit: So I'm gonna zombie my accounts paper. If I even manage to attain an average grade, you should all be ashamed of yourselves. Oh whoops, there goes the pride talking again. ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ

2008-06-27T14:51:00.001+08:00

Love Calculator

Prolly the best thing the interwebs came up with.
Seriously ~___~

It's even worthy of a blog post lol. AND its accurate.

Copeland - You Love to Sing

2008-06-13T21:12:00.002+08:00

Like a flash of light, night zooms past to bring forth morning. With nothing but coffee and some say 'motivation', I struggled through a week with barely if any sleep. Now I'm at my peak; a living zombie, malnourished, anti-social, somewhat agitated and cranky.

I haven't been out for ages besides having to get my meals and go for class. I feel relieved though, that I don't need to depend on my social life to feel gratification. And I surely don't feel empty, nor do I feel fulfilled though. Probably somewhere in between lol.

Not to mention sometime soon, I'm gonna have to slave away hours of my precious 'relaxation' time to give in to authority and responsibility; maintaining my fucking grades. My friend described me as a dangerous student. Appearing relaxed and rarely in class, I'd somehow manage to score high marks (note: I scored highest in my class for my first econs paper tho theres not much weightage).
TBH, thats a load of bullshit. I'm just about as bad as the next jock when it comes to grades simply because well, I'm rarely in class. Most of my knowledge is fucking self study shit.

So I've been debating whether or not I should pick up my social life again. Its 9.23pm right now and its feasible to go out at this hour to enjoy some company. Now that I think again(and I'll probably hate myself for making this decision later in the night), I'm not going out. I'm gonna stay home and sulk about how everything sucks and why I can't achieve greatness just by batting my eyelids. Kawaii no?

2008-05-26T23:21:00.002+08:00

We only see the light, when we're covered in darkness.
We only feel truly happy, after going through misery.

In the absence of evil, we feel warmth and kindness spread through our body.
In the absence of goodness, we feel like kicking and screaming at the world.

You know you're fucked up when you don't know your rights and wrongs. It is as if your moral values and the border line that you should never cross has been blurred because you want to justify your actions.

18th

2008-05-16T00:22:00.002+08:00

Birthdays are significant because it is the celebration of a life that has graced the earth.
Turning 18 is also significant because great freedom is granted.

..but I've always known that my life is significant and my freedom was granted a long time ago.

I don't plan on celebrating but I'd like to think to myself that I'm finally of age for things I've been doing before this. That is by itself, a different freedom.

The Truth

2008-04-23T21:42:00.003+08:00

Male sexuality may seem on the surface like it runs rampant in society- there are strip clubs, porn websites, Maxim-styled magazines, and titillating advertisements everywhere. But despite all this, true male desire is often kept repressed.

Men think about sex more than they will ever let women, or even each other, know. Teachers think about fucking their students, fathers think about their daughter's friends, doctors think about fucking their patients. And right now, for every women with even an iota of sex appeal, there's probably a man somewhere in the world who's touching himself and thinking what it would be like to fuck her. She may not even know him: He may be that businessman who walked past her in the street or the college student who sat across from her on the subway. And any man who tells a woman otherwise is most likely doing so because he's trying to get in her pants, or the pants of someone else within an earshot. The great lie of modern dating is that in order to sleep with a woman, a man must pretend initially as if he doesn't want to.

Most appalling to women is the male obsession with strippers, porn stars and teenage girls. It is abhorrent because it threatens a woman's reality. If all men really desire a woman like that, then where does that leave her marriage and happily-ever-after fantasies? She's doomed to live them with a man who really wants that Victoria's Secret model or the neighbor's daughter or that dominatrix in the videos he hides in his closet. As a woman ages, an eighteen-year-old girl will always be eighteen. Love is dashed on the rocks in the face of the possibility that man doesn't want a person but a body.

Fortunately, this is not the entire story. Men are visual thinkers; thus we're often deceived by our eyes. But the truth is that fantasy if often better than the reality. I had just learned that lesson. Most men eventually learn that lesson.
Men are not dogs. We merely think we are and, on occasion, act as if we are. But, by believing in our nobler nature, women have the amazing power to inspire us to live up to it. This is one reason why men tend to fear commitment and sometimes even rebel against it by endeavoring to bring out the worst in a woman.

- taken from The Game by Neil Strauss

2008-04-05T16:39:00.002+08:00

So what does a guy have to do to get some fucken' pussy around here?